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How We Talk to Ourselves

Sometimes we are so mean to ourselves.

We say things like, “Why does your hair look so bad today?”

Or, “Why can’t you be thinner?”

Or “I hate that you yelled at the kids, they’re going to be so traumatized.”

It doesn’t necessarily sound like that in our heads.

It sounds like, “I don’t like my hair.” or “I look fat.” or “I’m a failure.”

If someone else talked to us like that, we wouldn’t want to spend much time with them, if any at all.

What would it look like if you talked to yourself the way you talk to someone you love.

“You look cute today.” or “Thanks for being so nice to me today.”

“Thanks for taking care of my kids today.”

“I know you were tired and irritated, so it means even more that you would stick with it.”

“I know they complained all through dinner, so I wanted you to know that I really appreciate you feeding them.”

“I hope you won’t be too hard on yourself that you lost your temper with the kids. I still love you. I know you’re working on it, and I really appreciate that.”

Notice when you talk to someone you love, you diminish the negative and accentuate the positive.

Speaking kindly to ourselves takes practice. Notice what you wish someone else would say to you, then try saying it to yourself.

I, for one, am glad you are in the world.

P.S. Sign-up for a free one-on-one session and I’ll show you what it looks like to speak kindly to yourself in your specific situation.

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