Fulfilling Your Own Need for Appreciation and Validation

One of my frequented hang-outs is self pity. I don’t love this place. It’s just one of those well worn paths in my brain. It actually feels terrible. Something that has helped me stay out of self pity is giving myself appreciation. Whenever I hear myself say, or see my thoughts go to the phrase, “I just wish he/she would say… ”, I remind myself that I can solve that! Often that phrase ends with, ”… you’re doing such a good job!” or “Thank you!” So, I say those things to myself. And you know what? Because I’m saying them, I know I mean them.

One of the first times I did this was last Summer after I mowed the lawn. I love it when the lawn gets mowed. I love just looking out the window and seeing it mowed. I like the way it looks, and I feel a sense of relief that it’s done, because when it’s not done I keep thinking about how it needs to be done. (I know there’s a better way to just plan it out, but I think I keep hoping someone else will do it. haha) Anyway, I’m the only one in the house that feels this love of having the lawn mowed. I had just learned about thanking yourself from Jody Moore at Bold New Mom. So, I told myself out loud in my friend voice, “Thanks for mowing the lawn, Betsy! It looks so great, and I feel so relieved that it’s done. You’re the best!” I totally felt appreciated.

I know this might sound weird and it might feel weird the first few times you do it, but give it a try if you also hear yourself saying or thinking, “I just wish they’d say… ”

Look for my follow-up post of How to Be Your Own Cheerleader.

Let me know how you appreciate yourself.