I’ll Tell You What I Want, What I Really Really Want

I totally hope you’re singing that song right now in your head. If you don’t know the song, Don’t go look it up, just sayin’. It’s one of those I loved as a teen, now that I have kids, not sure it’s that great. haha Anyway, so many times we get caught up in feeling sorry for ourselves, and feeling like there’s nothing we can do to change our situation. For example, for a long time I had this thought that I wanted a bigger house. I felt so sorry for myself that I couldn’t have one because we didn’t have enough money for one in the area we lived. As I did thought work around it, I realized I did want a bigger house, and there were a lot of ways to get it. I could get a bigger mortgage. I could just move into an empty one and see how long it took before I went to jail. I could move out to the middle of nowhere and buy one for the same price we paid for our current house. I’m sure there are some other options, too. So there’s what I want: a bigger house. And there’s what I REALLY want: to have what I think is a manageable mortgage, stay out of jail, live closer to Steve’s job.

You may think, “Well, of course, you want those more, but you still don’t get your big house.” But it’s true, we make choices, and it’s important to tell ourselves the truth that we’re making the choice. It’s not just happening to us. This happens in every area of our lives where we feel like we don’t have a choice. Where do you feel like you have no choice? You CAN’T have something you want, or you HAVE to do something you don’t want to do. What are the alternatives? Is someone going to be mad? Would you have to do something against your moral values?

Be sure to tell yourself the truth. I ALWAYS have a choice. Not to be mean to yourself, but because this exercise also shows us that there are other ways, and you just might find one that you like. But as soon as you tell yourself you have no choice, you stop looking for other options. Besides it feels terrible.

Comment and let me know how you found an option you didn’t know was there because you reminded yourself you always have a choice.