Word to the Why’s?

My friend told me about this concept called The 7 Layers of Why. It’s super helpful to figure out what you’re thinking. If you want to bring to light thoughts that you didn’t even know you had, that may be causing you problems, just ask, “Why?”.

Here’s an example from my experience:

  1. I don’t want to work on my program. Why?
  2. Because I don’t know where to start. Why?
  3. Because I’m waiting for someone to tell me how to do it. Why?
  4. Because I don’t want to waste time doing it wrong and then having to re-do it. Why?
  5. Because I don’t want to fail. Why?
  6. Because then I’ll feel bad about myself. Why?
  7. Because I’ll think that I should have known better.

Well, I can see that that last thought is ridiculous. I may have that thought, but it doesn’t even make sense. How would I know better if I’ve never written a program before and no one is telling me how to do it. The only reason I’ll feel bad is if I think that thought. I know thoughts are optional, and that was seems ridiculous to me, so I’ll just choose to think, “Good for me for trying!” If I know that’s the thought I’ll have no matter the result, then it’s easier to get started writing my program.

Give it a try! Let me know your 7 Layers of “Why?”.

 

 

The Genre Of Your Life

Who doesn’t love a good movie? We love it because we know it’s not real. Even when we kind of think it’s real, we know it’s not really real. I love movies based on true stories. The stories they’re based on are ones that seem to be tragic at some point, but then it resolves to something grand in the end, and you get to see how all of the parts fit together.

If you were in a movie right now, what genre would it be? Would the kids crying and screaming on the way out the door be a comedy or a tragedy? Would your husband looking on as you make dinner be a romance or a comedy? Change the genre of what’s happening in your life and see how your perspective changes. It’s only your thoughts that make it that way, anyway, so choose it the way you want to. This helps your brain to see that what you’re thinking about your life is what’s creating the feel of it. It’s not necessarily real that you’re in a tragedy; it could just as well be a comedy, or a romance.

Thursday Thought: A “Wrong” Decision Will Always Get You To Your Goal Faster Than No Decision

Sometimes we get stuck in doing the “right” thing. What if there isn’t one “right” way, or one “right” thing? What if the only way to figure out what works is by trial and error? What if I told you it was going to take you 100 times to figure out a way that works for you to lose weight, to stop yelling, to keep your house clean, to start making money on your side gig, whatever it is you want to do that seems to elude you? Would it be worth it to you to figure it out? What if I could guarantee on the 101st time it would work, and it would stick forever, that you’d never have to solve that problem again? But first you have to try 100 ways that don’t work.

Instead of feeling stuck and paralyzed because you can’t find the right way, you’d probably get going. The faster you try and fail 100 times, the faster you’d reach your goal.

You’d stop with the drama of, “I don’t want to waste my time on the wrong decision.” You’d just make a decision and know that if if doesn’t work, that doesn’t make it the wrong decision. It just gets you one step closer to the way to reach your goal. A “wrong” decision will always get you to your goal faster than no decision.

There Are No Thought Police

When I was at coach training, my instructor told me, “There are no thought police. You can believe any thought you want.” If you were looking through the thoughts on the shelf and you saw one that said, “I am amazing!”, would you pick it up? Why or why not? Are you afraid if you decided to believe that thought and carry it around with you that someone would come along and tell you, “You can’t believe that thought, it’s not true.”? Guess what, someone could do that, but they have no authority unless you give it to them. There are no thought police. You get to believe whatever you want. Feel free to pick up any of these thoughts, or any others you see on the shelf and take them home with you, they’re FREE:

  • I’m amazing!
  • My value is infinite, no matter what I do and don’t do.
  • I’m such a good mom.
  • I’m beautiful.
  • I don’t make and spend money, it flows in and out of my life as it’s supposed to.
  • My husband adores me.
  • I’m in the perfect place in my journey.
  • My past experiences were exactly what I needed.
  • My future is bright.
  • I’m succeeding.

Thoughts Are Optional

If circumstances don’t make us feel anything, then why do we feel something about our circumstances? We have thoughts about everything. We have thousands of thoughts a day. Any thought that we believe creates a feeling inside of us. Did you know our thoughts are optional, though? They’re like books in a bookstore. We can pick it up and take it with us, or we can put it back on the shelf.

We can choose to believe them. Sometimes our brains really don’t want to let a thought go, or may resist believing a new thought.

By examining your thoughts you can easily let them go or believe something new. Like a book, you can examine a thought. Get really curious about it. Look inside of it. See how it makes you feel. Is it something you want to keep with you? Or would you rather just put it back where you got it?

I Can Help You With Your Problem!

I am back from coach training at The Life Coach School.  As part of my practicum to become a Certified Life and Weight Coach, I am offering 5 free sessions of coaching to anyone interested. What problems would you like coaching on? Do you want to lose weight? Do you have a relationship that you want to improve? Do you want more money? Do you want to get started on a goal that you keep putting off? I can help you with that! Go to my website emergingbravely.com and sign-up for some free coaching.

Thursday Thought: I Know What To Do

Since I’ve been working on confidence this month my go-to thought is “I know what to do”. I sincerely believe this. I believe we all have inner wisdom that helps us be our best selves.

When I’m making decisions, even seemingly split-second decisions, oftentimes I find myself wondering what other people would do, or what other people think I should do. When I think the thought, “I know what to do,” I go inside and tap into my inner wisdom to make the decision. I find that I really DO know what to do. I don’t get so caught up wondering if I’m wrong, or if someone else would know better. Deep down inside I know I can handle making mistakes, and it doesn’t matter if someone would do it better. They’re not doing it. I am. The only way I can do it is my way.

Do you have a thought that helps you tap into your inner wisdom? If so, comment and tell me about it.

Zooming In

I love the blogger, HandsFreeMama. She wrote a great post entitled Be Here Now. It’s the concept that when something feels overwhelming or stressful, our brains like to go to the past or the future to escape what is happening. But if you can just zoom in and focus on what’s happening right in this moment, you’ll see that you can handle it.

I have been doing walking/running where you run for a few minutes, and then you walk a minute. The other day, I decided to just run for 15 minutes straight, then walk at the end. My brain kept wanting to think about how I couldn’t run the whole way, how I should just stop and try another day. The thing that kept me going was focusing on the ground right in front of me. I knew where I would start walking, so until I reached that point, I just focused on the step in front of me; I focused on my breathing, on just that moment. It got me through.

What feels daunting to you right now? Fifteen minutes of running straight might seem too hard but you can take the next step. Cleaning the entire house might be too overwhelming, but you can dust this one shelf, or vacuum this one room. Starting a business may seem like a dream that could never come true, but you can write one blog post, or teach one class. Raising kids to adulthood can feel scary, or not yelling at your husband can seem undoable, but you can love them in this moment. Losing 15, 30, or 100 pounds can seem impossible, but you can eat the best way you know how today.

So when it all seems like too much, Zoom In and Be Here Now.

Money Philosophy Carried Over to Food

Ever since I wrote some thoughts on money, it has been coming to my mind how I might apply that same philosophy to food. I know not everyone feels the same way about food as I do. I remember going to my mother-in-law’s one day after she had gone grocery shopping. She had all of her groceries spread out on her table and counter and she said to me, “I just love looking at everything I could buy. I feel so grateful that I could buy all of this.” It was inspiring to me that she was so grateful!

When my fridge is packed, though, I feel overwhelmed. I worry about if things are going to go bad, and I kind of have this urge to eat it all really quickly so it’s just taken care of. Does that sound weird, or have you had that urge before? I’m not sure why I have the urge to eat it rather than throw it out, but there it is.

I went shopping recently, and bought quite a bit of produce hoping that I wouldn’t need to go shopping again for 2 weeks. However, once I put it all in the fridge, I had that urge again to eat it as quickly as possible so that my fridge wasn’t so full. That reminded me of my thought on money, “I buy what I need, and a few extras, and then save the rest, or give it to others.” I know this doesn’t translate exactly, but I like the thought, “I eat what I need, with a few treats, and then leave the rest.”

What do you think? I think I’m liking this thought.

Thoughts on Money

I kept having the thought, “I do not want to make a million dollars.” I know this probably sounds so foreign. I would love for someone to give me a million dollars. I have a lot of fun ways I could think of how to spend it. However, the thought of making a million dollars was really stressing me out. I felt like it would just be all of this money, and I’d have to figure out how to spend it wisely. Just another thing I have to do!

As I talked to my hubby about it, he shared his thought about money, “I never really worry about how much money is in my bank account. I just buy what I need, and  a couple of things I want, and there’s always enough and leftover.” I can attest to this! I have always been a strict budgeter. It was almost a competition to me to see how close I could stick to my budget, and then buy myself a treat with anything leftover. However, it was stressful.

When we got married, we had two accounts where we each got a certain amount of money each month that we could spend on whatever we wanted. You know what? He always stayed under budget. ALWAYS. Here I was stressing, feeling like there was never enough money, and he seemed to have everything he wanted without any stress, and lots of money leftover.

Finally, I gave in. We stopped keeping track of each penny. My stress level over money went way down. Until I felt like we were overspending, or we’d get a certain amount of money in our account and I’d have this itch to spend it on something.

After having this conversation with Steve, I felt so much peace with his philosophy on money. We could have a $40,000 salary or a million dollars, and we could still just buy what we need (including taking care of our future), a couple of things we want, and then donate money to help others. I think this really can apply to any income. You hear stories of people donating money to others in need, when they themselves seem to be in need. It’s all in the way you think about it.

What do you think? Do you think it’s possible to have an abundance mindset no matter how much money you make?