Thursday Thought: Nature Never Rushes, Yet Everything Gets Done

To continue from Monday’s post, I love this thought. I heard it when I went on a shinrin yoku walk, which simply put is a walk through nature. We can think of this for ourselves when we’re feeling rushed. But it’s also applicable as parents when we want our kids to learn a skill. Sometimes it feels like they’re never going to get it, and we push, and punish, and we bribe (I mean, I’m sure you never do, but some of us succumb to bribing :)). We’re in a huge rush for them to “get it”.

As I was in the forest I thought of it like we want to go to the beach, so we’re rushing to get ourselves and everyone else ready to go to the beach without realizing that it’s actually Winter. When we get to the beach it’s not anything like we expected because it’s Winter. Then we say, “I did everything I could to make this happen, and it’s not even enjoyable.” But it’s just because we were rushing something that wasn’t the right time. Nature doesn’t just stand still, it just doesn’t do everything at the same time. It has seasons. Even in the Winter when it seems that everything has just stopped, it hasn’t, it’s just going very slowly. What insights do you have about this thought: Nature never rushes, yet everything gets done?

Thursday Thought: Everything WILL go exactly how it’s supposed to

Happy New Year’s! Have you made some goals for this year? How are you thinking about 2019?  How are you thinking about your goals? If you’re scared try on this thought, “Everything will go exactly how it’s supposed to.” Then dream big! No matter if you meet your goals, everything will go exactly how it’s supposed to, and you’ll be closer to your dreams than if you never dreamed them at all. Plus, you don’t have to worry about whether or not you “fail”, because everything will go exactly how it’s supposed to. How is that true?

Living In The Gain

“The way to measure your progress is backward against where you started, not against your ideal.” Dan Sullivan, The Gain and The Gap.

When you’re looking over your year in 2018, what goals did you have? Did you reach them? If not, how do you feel about that?

You can either look at the Gap-the difference between where you wanted to be, and where you are. Or you can look at the Gain-the difference between where you are from where you started. If you think of your goal like a puzzle that’s not completely finished, are you looking at the pieces that are missing and feeling disappointed you didn’t finish the puzzle? Or are you looking at all of the pieces you put together? One way will make you feel like a failure-not very motivating to keep going. The other way will make you feel successful-totally motivating. Which will you choose?

Thursday Thought: Everything went exactly how it was supposed to

How did Christmas go? Did everything go the way you expected? The way you wanted? If you’re answer is ‘no’. I want you to try on the thought, “Everything went exactly how it was supposed to.” How is this thought just as true or more true than your other thoughts about how Christmas went? How is what happened better than what you planned?

Red, Green, And White All Over

Merry Christmas! These next two days will probably be filled with lots of visits and festivities and traditions. I hope you have a lovely time, and take some time to add whitespace to your life.

Visual whitespace is used to make other things more noticeable or manageable. Whitespace in art draws your attention to things that the artist wants to point out. It adds clarity, and makes things simpler and less overwhelming. If there isn’t enough whitespace things can appear cluttered and disorganized.

Whitespace in our lives are times when we stop all of the noise. Time when we’re alone with our thoughts. It could be daydreaming, meditating, praying, thinking about one thought, noticing all of our thoughts. You could be on a walk, just sitting still, even doing mundane tasks like washing dishes or folding laundry. For it to truly be whitespace, you’re not thinking about what you need to do next; you’re just in the moment. If you’re not used to having whitespace, you may try to rush it. It may be uncomfortable, but don’t rush it. Set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes so you don’t have to keep looking at the clock, so you can be fully present. Whitespace is all about being present.

Just like visual whitespace, whitespace in your life will make things less overwhelming, give you clarity, help you see what’s most important, make your life more manageable. Tell me how you create whitespace in your life.

You Don’t Have To Do Anything To Prove Your Worth

Sometimes we think our worth is dependent on what we do. So we try to exercise more, be more productive, lose weight, go to church, read our scriptures, dress our kids nicely, get out of debt, make healthy meals, make delicious meals, be nice, give service, the list could go on. None of these things are bad things. A lot of them are good things. But if we’re doing them so that we have “evidence” that we’re good and worthwhile, it’s exhausting. How will we ever know if we’re worthwhile?

How do we know the worth of a diamond? You might tell me all of the guidelines that decide the worth of a diamond. But where did those guidelines come from? Someone just made them up! Seriously! It came from someone’s brain and a lot of people agreed. Is a diamond of any worth to a 3 year old? They may think it’s pretty, but they’d probably rather have that toy that makes a sound when you push the button.

Just like a diamond, you just get to decide your worth. And guess what…no one has to agree with you. Nobody. I like to believe everyone is worthwhile. The guy who sits in his room playing video games all day. The woman who spends her time helping out at the homeless shelter. The man who goes to the temple every week. Even people who do horrible things in this world have infinite worth. I believe we get our worth from being children of God. If you are a human on this planet, then you are a child of God. Therefore you are 100% lovable. You are of infinite worth. This feels really good to me, and helps me be who I want to be.

How would it feel differently to do anything from a place of knowing your worthwhile whether you do something or not, than from a place of trying to prove your worth? Let me know what you think.

Thursday Thought: I’m going to help her succeed with me.

A client was having a hard time with her Mother-in-law. From her point of view, her MIL never remembered when she promised to watch the kids. When my client would give her MIL instructions on medications or screen time or other things she wanted the kids to have while they were with their grandma, her MIL seemed to always get it wrong. At first she made it mean her MIL was trying to mess things up, or she didn’t care about my client’s instructions. But deep down, she knew her MIL was doing her best, she just did things differently than my client. Her MIL was more of free spirit where my client was more organized and liked schedules and calendars. Can you relate?

My client wanted to feel love for her MIL and have her children get the medications and other things that were important to her when they were with their grandma. She decided to figure out what were the 2 or 3 most important things to her and then decided how she could help her MIL succeed. She decided she would write things down for her MIL instead of just telling her. And if that didn’t work, she would try something else, maybe brainstorm with her MIL. She would make it an experiment to see what helped her MIL be successful. Most of all, she wouldn’t make it mean that her MIL didn’t care about her.

Who in your life do you think wants to succeed at what you request of them, but get’s it wrong every.time.? How could you help them be successful? Don’t try and change them, just how could you make it easier for them? Do you need to clarify, write it down, be more willing to say your preference, be more encouraging?

Try the thought: I’m going to help her/him succeed with me.

Thursday Thought: It’s Possible I Could Love Winter This Year

Around the beginning of November, I could feel myself getting down. I grew up in the States, but I live in Canada now. Growing up we didn’t start getting ready for Christmas until after Thanksgiving in November. Now we have Thanksgiving the beginning of October, so after Halloween the lines shade of when you can start getting ready for Christmas. Usually, I’m ready to go just after Halloween, but this year I wasn’t even looking forward to Christmas. I was dreading Winter. All of it. November until May. My coach helped me see that I was thinking, “I hate Winter! I loathe Winter!” over and over. No wonder I was filled with dread! I came up with this new thought that was believable to me:

It’s possible I could love Winter this year.

Every time my thoughts wanted to go to, “I hate Winter.” I would redirect to, “It’s possible I could love Winter this year.” It didn’t take long. I am enjoying the cold on my face, the snow, the quietness when you go out and the sounds seemed to be subdued by the snow below and the clouds above. I’m looking forward to sledding, possibly snow-shoeing and skiing, even flying kites when it’s still cold and windy but there’s no snow. I’m totally believing that, “It’s possible I could love Winter this year.”

How are you thinking about Winter?