Insert any name into that thought. Monday I talked about how we so often want people to be different than they are. When we accept that we have no control over who they are, we can open up to loving them, and empower ourselves to think, feel, and act the way we want to.
A few weeks ago, we were getting ready for church. My husband was not doing things the way I would do them. I felt really upset, and told him I would just do it. You know, in that clenched, “just try to challenge me right now” tone. He decided the most helpful thing he could do was go on ahead to church and save seats. I was livid. Then I asked myself, “Why am I so angry? I love my husband. In fact, he’s an amazingly helpful husband, yet here I am livid because I’m thinking he’s so unhelpful.” I realized I was stuck in trying to get him to think like me, and do things the way I would do them. I immediately softened. I don’t want him to be me. I want him to be himself. I want him to do things differently than I do. I want him to be the Steviest-Steve he can be. He’s different than I am. He’s more relaxed and laid back. He doesn’t care very much about what other people think of him. He can make any game kid-friendly. He can bring laughter to even the most tense situations. And guess what, he doesn’t care very much about being on time to places. Some people think that’s a cardinal sin. I think it’s part of what makes him HIM.
Is there someone that has a habit that “drives you crazy”? What if you let go and said to them (in your mind), “Be the (insert name)-est (name) that you can be. You don’t have to change so I can feel better.” What if someone said that to you? Wouldn’t that feel good? Also, then it’s easier to decide how you want to feel, think, and act when they’re just being themselves, instead of hoping they’ll act one way, and being disappointed when they’re just themselves.