I know I’ve done this thought already, but it’s such a good one. I taught a class in church recently. Later that day, I found myself feeling really insecure. The interesting thing is that I thought the lesson went well. I found myself thinking things like, “I wonder if they think that I think I’m better than them.” “I bet they think I didn’t do a very good job.” “I wonder if they think I had too much discussion.” These were not thoughts out of curiosity. They were causing me to feel insecurity and shame. I just allowed the insecurity and shame for awhile. Then I decided I was done. I looked into what thoughts were causing the insecurity and shame (see above :)).
It’s true that some of the people in my class could be having those thoughts. So now what? I reminded myself, “It’s not about me.” I put myself out there in the world. I do my best, which sometimes may not be that great. And then I let others think what they want to about it. They may think thoughts that generate negative emotions, or they may think thoughts that generate positive emotions. Either way, it’s not about me. If they think my lesson was amazing or if they think it flopped, it’s about them and the lens through which they see the world.
This is amazing because instead of trying to control the way anyone may feel or think about me, which isn’t even possible, I get to just be me. I get to love me and appreciate me if I want to, no matter if anyone else agrees. Next week I think I’ll talk about thoughts that generate love and appreciation for myself. Of course, you can use any of them you’d like to.
In what areas is it helpful for you to remind yourself, “It’s not about me,”?