This thought is helpful to me in several situations.
When I’m going to write a blog post and I start to have thoughts like, “What if someone thinks it’s stupid? What if someone thinks I’m wrong?” I remind myself, “It’s not about me. It’s about all of the women out there this could help. The ones that are struggling and these thoughts and tools can help, just like they’re helping me.” It’s worth it to have someone judge me, so that someone else can get closer to feeling empowered.
When I don’t get invited to something and my brain tells me, “It’s because they think I’m not fun. Maybe they don’t really want to be my friend.” I remind myself, “It’s not about me. Whatever they think about me is just thoughts in their head. They may or may not be right, but they’re only thoughts and it has nothing to do with me or my worth.” I also like to throw in, “I’m not for everyone.” if I truly think they don’t like me for some reason. People don’t always want to be around others, even if they love them. It’s not about me.
When the secretary at the school is short when I bring my kids in late, and I start to think, “She probably hates me. She thinks I’m an irresponsible mom.” I remind myself, “It’s not about me. It could be something totally unrelated, and even if she is annoyed with me, it’s only because of thoughts in her brain that make her annoyed about coming in late.” She’s the one feeling annoyed. There’s no reason for both of us to be annoyed. I’m no different whether she’s annoyed at me or not.
When you know it’s not about you, you don’t have to be defensive. You can hear other people’s complaints. You can say, “Maybe you’re right.” It’s not about me. It’s about the thoughts they are believing in their brain. You can decide how you want to be, and they will be how they choose to be (consciously or unconsciously). It’s not about you.
In what situations will this thought help you act the way you want to act?