One time I was in a marriage seminar where they said, “You should be your spouse’s cheerleader. There are enough critics out there; you don’t need to be that for your spouse.” Which I think is super great advice IF you’re using it for you and how you want to be. However, on this particular occasion, I thought, “Yes, I just need Steve to be my cheerleader.”
I remember talking to him so many times, trying to explain to him how I needed him to be my cheerleader and how to do it. Guess what, it never worked. This is not because he is inept at being a cheerleader. It’s because I didn’t believe the positive things he said about me, so I hardly even heard them. AND I became very critical of him and his efforts. Ironic.
Then one day I decided to be my own cheerleader. Since, apparently Steve couldn’t do it right (or so I thought), I would have to do it myself. Guess what, I always knew exactly what I wanted to hear. I didn’t believe it at first, but I kept at it, and eventually, I started believing the things I told myself.
THEN I noticed that Steve WAS cheering me on. He had been cheering me on all along. I just couldn’t hear it because my self-doubt in my head was louder.
Be your own cheerleader first. Then if others happen to be cheering you on, you can enjoy that. But it always starts with you.
P.S. If you like these posts and are interested in getting some more personal help with your struggles or seeing your amazingness. I’d love for you to sign-up for a free coaching session. You don’t have to come prepared or have anything necessarily to say. I will ask you questions and guide you the whole time. I’d love to meet you!